"Genesis" means "Beginning"

"Genesis" means: "Beginning" and it is the new beginnings that make life beautiful again.

It is easy for people to shy away from the topic of abuse, domestic violence, violence and so on.  Heck, it took me all these years to bring myself to the point to actually write about it.  

People think that if you "stayed" then it is your fault.  That, perhaps, you deserved what you got in the relationship's aftermath.  

YOU DESERVE TO BE TREATED WITH DIGNITY AND RESPECT

Does the above statement go against what you have now in your life and intimacy?

It took me years to finally go get help and "confess" to a counselor what I was going through. I cannot tell you what a relief it was to get it off my chest and accept that I am a loving person worthy of good things and blessings.  

There is not enough awareness or acceptance, I feel, in the public eye about what it is like to be in an abusive relationship.  

It is not something you intentionally want to go into.  I think women are susceptible to not leaving so easily because of many circumstances.  I am on a mission to continue to find out why.  I know I used to ask the "why" many times over.    

I had to get over the "why" and move on into a new beginning, like the word "Genesis."  Only after new beginnings and growth can you experience the journey and life you are meant to have.

I can tell you that when I decided to "up and leave" my marriage, all the questions had to be placed on the back burner.  I filed them all away.  I had had enough.  I had to figure out how to get "me" back and start over.

This was in 2009, during the recession and economic crash.  The business we jointly owned was suffering.  We had already lost many good key employees through the years (they did not want to be around a volatile office environment and I don't blame them.) I lost some really good friends and associates.  I have managed to rekindle some of those relationships and my friends are happy for my new life - again the "genesis."

There are so many obstacles and mountains of struggle - that I write about in my memoir (ongoing), however, you just have to get through them to move on.

I was telling a friend yesterday, "Remember the movie, Alive?" The story about the plane crash survivors ... fast forward to the part when a few of the survivors decided to risk everything to get help.  Toward the end of the movie, the guys climb a few huge mountains.  They are exhausted, famished and beaten up from the whole experience.  They think that once over the first large mountain, they are going to find refuge.  Yet they climb it and gasp and cry because their hopes are diminished.  They think, "How are we going to get to an end in sight."  There is nothing but mountain after mountain of snow and ice.  One of the guys' perspective jumps and I interpret as, "Look.  There is mountain after mountain -- but we will eventually get to the place we need to be.  We will just keep moving forward."  And they do!  They do find refuge and rescue.  That is how I describe the journey in the beginning for me.  

I used that time to remove all the bad stuff from my former life, deal with what I could and had to, just enough to get by.  I met a new man who helped me.  I would say he was like my sherpa.  He dealt with the agony and pain of what my husband put me and my family through.  And once I would continue the path on climbing the mountains and not looking back, I would find my inner strength come alive.  I would return to beauty and find it in EVERYTHING.  I left with virtually nothing and I was happier and alive than ever.  The magical moments my new guy shared were just that.  I recall looking at him and laughing -- saying, "We don't have much wealth together, yet how beautiful that we get to rebuild together."