When I listened to this song, years after I left my husband
for domestic violence in the home and in the workplace, it somehow motivated me
to love who I am: a loving person full
of so much potential.
I wish I had a heart of stone to have mustered up the courage
to leave him early in the marriage versus the eight plus years of such a rocky
relationship.
I used to flood tears on and on uncontrollably when I was “in
it.” It didn’t make sense, why this was happening.
Dam – wish that I could build a dam: To hold back the tears that flow on and on.
There was a side of me that wished, at the time, that I
could have been as evil and sadistic as he was to me. Instead it was easier to finally leave and
give my family and I the love and peace they/we deserve.
He has alienated all of his friends.
And I guess his family accepts him because they are family, although I
would beg to differ on letting someone get away with things just because they are family.
I love who I am. I
love the strength and beauty that is attracted all around me, present day.
He never was there for me.
He never took the time to understand. I stayed because I believed and like the song adds, “'Cause my heart's still filled with love
for you.”
I loved this man. I
did everything, even bore his child and named him after him and his family. I did it all for him. There was not much more I could have done to
show all my love.
People often wonder how someone can stay with an abusive
person. It is because you hate what he
does, but you have hope and belief that he will stop. Hope and Belief: isn't it a wonderful or a tricky thing?
And you hope that he will love you back.
Violence is not a sign of love.
Friends tell me today, “Fred couldn’t make the bed without
you – he couldn’t do anything and everyone knew it.”
And I would have done more, I loved fully and cried awfully
for the way he treated me when things went awry for him.
It was not fair. It
was not just.
But today, as my boyfriend says, “it’s not about the why anymore.”
I forgive you, Mr. Solomon, for what you have done to me
and my family – and for all that you took from my soul in putting everything
into us, work and so much it’s unbelievable to the world what you have done.
But it doesn’t mean
that I, or society, forgives you. I
can’t ever forget this low chapter of my life.
I am blessed to channel all the fire, passion and strength to be a voice
for others. I never had anyone to turn
to. When I went to domestic violence
shelter there was not enough tools for a person like me. I hope to change that and give the world
myself from a place of love and kindness.
All this love and kindness will erase, as much as possible, the “bad
dream” I had with you.
My family and kids love seeing me happy and at peace
now. And I love how I have rekindled and
have so many friends that support and love me.
They are all happy that I have moved on with my life. They support my “voice” and it is through and
with them that I will continue on. It
has been nice to rekindle friendships with former employees. I have had to apologize to them tenfold and
they say, “Don’t apologize, Lisa…”
I am so strong today and so happy that this isn’t about you
anymore. This is about helping thousands
or millions of women from understanding and getting out of
#DomesticViolence.
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